Forever Hungry
by TotalZayaGirl14
Summary: So, most of us Panemaniacs know our beloved Hunger Games characters inside and out. But what if there's more than meets the eye? Enter this strange new world of Panem where...what you say? Katniss is a snobbish princess? Gale's a chef? And Peeta's...a hippie? Yes, these are what the characters COULD have been...you won't believe it until you read it!
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, I am bored and I have no idea what I am about to write so…let's see how this goes!**

When I wake up, the other side of the bed is unmistakably warm. I reach out and immediately feel the warmth of my little sister's worthless body. Without hesitation, I shove her off my beautiful bed, and onto the floor.

I hear a few cracking sounds, but she deserves it. She knows she isn't allowed to come anywhere near the Great Katniss Everdeen's sleeping province!

That's right. I'm pretty freaken awesome. I'm gorgeous, I've got a voice that the Mockingjays love, and I kick ass with a bow and arrow.

I don't even know why my little skank of a sister thinks she deserves to be anywhere near me! If it weren't for me, she'd be dead! And so would that awful hag (my mother) sleeping on the dirt floor a few feet away from where I sent Prim plummeting to her death. (Well, not her death. I'll never get that lucky.)

She probably had nightmares and decided it was okay to sit her bony little butt next to me on MY seashell shaped bed!

Big mistake!

I got that bed when I went on that trip to Atlantis with Gale my slave- uh- I mean BFF.

I clap my hands twice and my bright pink lamps instantly turn on. The Hag (my mother) groans and mutters something about wanting to stay asleep.

"Zip it lady!" I scream at her.

She looks a bit offended (perhaps I was a little too harsh?) but she instantly takes the frying pan she uses for a pillow and covers her face with it. My sister still lays unconscious in the dirt.

I slowly get out of bed and pull on my gorgeous princess dress and high heels. I take my hair out of the curlers I slept in and spray it with three cans of hair spray. After adding my tiara I make my way toward the door. I am stopped by the worlds ugliest cat. Buttercup.

Hasn't that awful thing learned his lesson already? YOU DON'T MESS WITH KATNISS CINDERELLA EVERDEEN! (Actually my middle name's Marie, but Cinderella suits me better.)

You see, Buttercup is completely hairless from me shaving all his fur off, he's only got three legs from him interfering with the saw (Yeah, I cut the firewood since my other two family members expect me to be their servant) , and to add to that, he's got rabies.

"Shaaaaahhhhhgsssss!" he snarls with white foam coming out of his mouth. I just use my high heel to send him flying through the air towards my mother. She starts flailing around and screaming as Buttercup attacks her.

When I make my way out to the woods where I hunt (Yeah, like I said, I kick ass with a bow and arrow.) I immediately smell pancakes.

I follow the scent only to find Gale at a stove flipping pancakes.

You see, ever since Gale started taking culinary classes at school, he's decided that he's a chef. He's dressed in a full out white chef outfit, even the hat. He has a piece of duct tape on the front pocket that's labeled with blue crayon that says "chef gail"

What a dumbass. He doesn't even know how to spell his own name.

"Hey Gale." I say walking up to him. His spatula is labeled "Count Spatula"

"Hi Fatniss."

"It's Katniss you retard!" I scream at him. Tears then start welling up in his eyes. What a baby.

I then take a look at what else he's made besides pancakes. There's something in a bowl that looks like a mixture of oatmeal and a variety of peppers. I touch it to see what it feels like. "Gale what is-"

"DON'T TOUCH MY ART!" he yells at me snatching the bowl away.

"Sheesh. Sorry." I say.

I spend the next half hour supervising his cooking. I have to do this because a few weeks ago he was making a soufflé and burned half the forest down.

And then a few days after that there was the incident with the Baked Alaska.

And then just yesterday he made a ten layer cake and it exploded in the oven. The mess made its way all the way down to the Justice Building. I doubt they've gotten it all cleaned up yet.

They better though. Cuz I just remembered why the Justice Building needs to be clean for today.

Today is the day of the sowing.

Crap.

**Yeah, I know this is probably NOT funny at all…but I was really bored. ****Review if you want more chapters!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: I'm back! This chapter's much longer:)**

"We could do it you know." Gale says quietly as we sit on our favorite spot; a cliff with a seventeen thousand foot drop.

"What?" I ask.

"Leave the district. Run off. Go on Iron Chef of Panem. The winning dish, we could make it." Says Gale.

I don't know how to respond. Gale knows the last time I tried to cook my father "fell" into the roast. He wouldn't get me the right color of eyeshadow…but as far as the district knows, it was a mining accident that killed him.

"If we didn't have so many annoying family members." He adds quickly.

I don't see why that's stopping him…I could care less about my useless sister and my whiny, demanding mother who I must do everything for.

"I never want to have kids." I say.

Gale looks devastated. You see, he has this huge crush on me, and has already named our…apparently twenty children. He never shuts up about it so I have them all memorized:

Spatula, Skillet, Ladle, Pot, Pan, Stove, Oven, Microwave, Refridgeorator, Tomato, Zuchinni, Potato, Butter, Pepper, Bread, Jalepeno, Ice Cream, Bake, Broil, and Sarah.

"B-but little Spatula needs his mother!"

"Forget it Gale, it's never going to happen."

"You forget it!" he snaps back.

I point my arrow at him and demand him to bow down to me.

"Bow down to your princess!"

He does out of fear.

Besides, if he wants kids, Gale won't have any trouble finding a wife. He's…nevermind.

"Well, what do you want to do?" I ask.

"Let's fish at the lake and gather deeper into the woods. Get something good for tonight." He says.

Tonight. After the sowing, everyone is supposed to celebrate by cooking tons of food, and throwing it all at the new tributes' houses. It's quite fun.

Well, unless it's your house.

On our way home, we stop by Wal-Mart, the black market that operates in an abandoned warehouse that once held coal.

We trade a few things for crap like food, and buy some soup from Greasey Shakira, some old, and I mean, OLD has-been singer.

When we approach her soup table, she is dressed in a WAY to small outfit, belly dancing and singing.

"Now I'm a gypsy…"

"Hey Greasey Shakira, can we get some soup?"

"Are you coming with me.."

We continue to ask, but she just keeps on singing. And singing, and singing. Finally she runs out of Shakira songs to sing and resorts to something else.

"If I was your boyfriend I'd never let you go, I can take you places you ain't never been before, so baby take a chance or you'll never ever know, I got money in my hands that I'd really like to blow. Swag, swag, on you. Chillin' by the fire while we eatin' fondue, I don't know about me but I know about you, so say hello to fostello in 3,2, swag…"

When she finally stops singing all the old people music, she finally gets us some soup. I sadly don't get to eat in peace though, because Gale spends the whole time criticizing Greasey Shakira and making comments like; "Needs more salt!", "Needs more pepper!", "Did you even stir this woman?", and "It's lumpy and cold, why didn't you let it simmer while you sang!".

When Gale finally finishes giving cooking lessons at Wal-Mart, we head over to the mayor's house to sell some strawberries that we gathered. The mayor's daughter, Madge opens the door and I groan. Being the mayor's daughter, you'd expect her to be a snob…she lives up to expectations.

"Uh-um, h-hi K-Katniss." She stammers.

"Here's some strawberries you retard." I say flinging the strawberries at her face. Gale sticks his tongue out at her.

She looks like she's about to cry so I slam the door in her face.

God she's so rude.

As we both near our homes, I say "See you in the circle."

"Wear something ugly." He says flatly and then bursts out into laughter.

"HAHAHAHAHA! I'm just kidding! HAHAHAHA! Oh God, I'm so funny! HAHAHAHA!"

He falls onto the ground laughing and rolling around. I just leave him there.

At home, as I walk in the door, my mother and sister cower in the corner.

"Where are my sowing garments!" I demand, sounding very princess like.

"O-on your bed Princess Katniss!" Prim stammers.

I look over onto my bed and realize with disgust that Buttercup is sitting on my dress.

"GAASHAAAA!" he snarls with foam coming out of his mouth.

I stomp over to the bed and fling Buttercup across the room. He lands on my mother again, and attacks her.

Ignoring the hag's screams and pleads for help, I get myself ready.

When I finish, I notice with disgust that Prim's blouse is untucked in the back. I shove her onto the ground and fix it.

"HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO TUCK YOUR FINNICKING BLOUSE IN! IT MAKES ME LOOK BAD! YOU LOOK LIKE A DUCK!" I scream in her ear. The hag is still trying to get the rabid cat off of her.

"Quack." Prim says helplessly on the ground.

"Shut up duck."

I hurt Prim in every way that I can, but nothing can hurt her more than the sowing. The delight I get when she's in pain wells up inside my chest making my heart explode with a happiness that is indescribable!

The pot roast is already cooking on the stove. It should be ready to fling at houses by the time the sowing's over.

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

People file into the city circle and sign in. All the twelve to thirteen year olds are shoved into areas guarded by electric fences and vicious Pit Bulls.

There's really no need for me to worry today about my name being called, because I forced Prim to take the tesserae. Even though she's younger, she still has more entries than me. I just hope she gets called! That would just make this the best day ever.

When everybody gets here, Effie Trinket takes the stage.

Effie Trinket is District 12's escort. She's emo and goth and has absolutely no sense of fashion whatsoever. She's also known for her drinking and drugs.

After Effie, comes Madge's father. He must be dressed for his other job because he's already in his clown suit.

The final person to take the stage and sit in a chair is Haymitch Abernathy. After winning his Hunger Games, he took up the job as a life coach and a mentor for Alcoholics Anonymous. He doesn't believe in drinking or drugs, and me and Gale got busted by him for trying to make crystal meth a few years ago.

To start out the sowing ceremony, the mayor reads a speech that's supposed to be serious, but honestly, no one is taking him very seriously in that clown outfit.

After his speech, he reads a list of District 12's past victors. In 75 years, our pathetic district has had only two. Kim Kardashian the 5th, and Haymitch Abernathy. Only Haymitch is still alive…sadly.

Haymitch stands up to be recognized. He's wearing a professional looking business suit and his hair is slicked back. After the crowd's applause he goes back to lecturing Effie and trying to coax the whiskey bottle out of her hand. When Effie refuses to give it up, Haymitch and her get into a tug of war battle with it.

When the time comes for the name drawing, Effie staggers over to the girls' sowing bowl. She pulls out the slip of paper and slurs the name out.

"Priiimrosssse Eeeeeverrrrdeeeen!"

**AN: I hope you liked it! Please review to tell me what you think:) Another chapter coming very soon!**

**P.S.**

**Sow is the opposite of reap in farming terms…so that's where I got it from in case you didn't know.**


End file.
